It’s the classic scene: a tearful toddler clinging to the leg of a mortified mom who’s desperately trying to drop them off at the child care center. Everyone within earshot of the screams grimaces and thanks their lucky stars that they’re not the ones in that uncomfortable spot. As professional daycare providers in Chicago, we’ve seen the best of the best and the worst of the worst, and it doesn’t phase us. However, if you’re worried about how you’ll convince your stubborn kid to accept you leaving them at a child care center, here are some tips we hope you’ll find reassuring.

Realize What It Means

Every mom’s initial reaction to their child begging not to be left at a child day care center is: “Oh my goodness, my child is going to think that I’m a terrible mother.” This is actually the opposite of the truth. Experts say that a little separation anxiety, especially when a child first starts at a child care center, indicate that development is progressing right on schedule. All the time you spent just a few steps away from your child during its early months of life taught it that you can be depended on. Being away from you is a big change, but definitely one they’ll move past soon.

Don’t Let The Tears Phase You

It’s hard to look at those beautiful eyes, full of tears, and feel like your world is falling apart. However, pediatricians say it’s not the tears you should focus on, but the way that the child behaves after it’s clear you’re not coming back. Does she eventually settle down and start playing with some blocks on the other side of the room? Or does she isolate herself and escalate the emotional outburst? Pediatricians say it’s the second option that could spell trouble down the road.

Don’t Give In

Whatever you do, don’t let your child dictate the circumstances under which you can or cannot go on with your life. Instead of focusing on the heart-wrenching aspect of this whole ordeal, it’s important to keep your eyes on the prize. This child care center experience will teach your child that it’s perfectly normal for people to go away, because they will come back.